When I began to research different agencies that certify childbirth educators, I immediately knew I would have some struggles with Lamaze. The Lamaze Philosophy of Birth is as follows:
Birth is normal, natural and healthy.
The experience of birth profoundly affects women and their families.
Women's inner wisdom guides them through birth.
Women's confidence and ability to give birth is either enhanced or diminished by the care provider and place of birth.
Women have the right to give birth free from routine medical interventions.
Birth can safely take place in homes, birth centers, and hospitals.
Childbirth education empowers women to make informed choices in health care, to assume responsibility for their health, and to trust their inner wisdom.
"Birth is normal." I had two cesareans, one emergency, one elective. My own experiences are not considered normal, healthy, or free from routine interventions. I had entered labor with an openness to medication, but no definite plans to use them. I had thought that the biggest intervention would be an epidural, if I chose to get one. I never in a million years thought I would have a cesarean. In later posts I will talk about some of the reasons I feel contributed to this being the outcome. I will say now that I do not blame any one or any thing for this outcome. I had 2 positive birth experiences, just not what I had imagined. Knowing what I know now however, leads me to believe that I may have been able to do some things to prevent this outcome.
Hindsight is 20/20. When I began this process, I knew I would have some issues with the idea of a normal birth. I maintain that I had two positive experiences, but will never experience the type of birth I had imagined. I feel a sense of loss. I personally believe that the birth of a child is the most important day of a woman's life. It is life changing and powerful. It is a memory that fades very little. There is plenty of research that supports these statement. I have learned that I will struggle for a long time with the sense of loss I have. I would love to experience a natural birth, but that's difficult to do when you don't want any more children.
I am working hard on taking this sense of loss I feel and turning it into a way to help other women have the birth they imagine. It doesn't matter if that is a natural birth, a birth with routine interventions, a cesarean. I believe it is important for a woman to know that she has done everything she can to achieve the birth experience she wants. This also comes with helping women to understand that there are occasionally complications where the outcome is different from ones imagined experience. I know it is difficult for others who have not had this experience to understand the emotions surrounding it. It's difficult for me to understand my own emotions.
During my study, I have found myself longing to experience a natural birth more and more. The problem is that I don't wish to expand my family at this time and my obstetrician has told me that I will not be able to have a natural birth. There are so many unknowns. What if I did have more children? I know I could find a provider who would support my decision to attempt a natural birth, but what are the risks given my surgical history? From what I'm reading, they're not any worse than a third cesarean. Is it worth taking this risk for the unknown when it could effect the family we already have? Why does my mind go to these thoughts when I don't want more children?
Again, I have to focus these thoughts towards supporting women to have the experiences they imagine. I feel as though women need to understand the facts about modern obstetrics before giving themselves to a doctor to make decisions for them. I don't ever wish to teach anyone that there is a right way to do things. Like I said, my experiences were great, but a there is a hole in my sense of womanhood or motherhood. I didn't birth my babies. Someone else did. I hope to be able to help women make clear goals for their own birth experiences and help them achieve them. It is going to take a little time to sift through my own emotions and be able to help other women to not have to experience the emotions themselves.
I am excited about what I have learned so far. I never thought I'd "buy in" to the information, but it just makes sense. Women's bodies were made to have babies. There are many things that happen naturally to make that happen and to help women cope with the pain associated with childbirth. Augmented labors lack a hormone release that aids in natural pain relief, leading to more epidurals. Modern interventions limit movement wich also helps with pain management. I believe that if a low-risk woman allows nature to take it's course as long as possible, she will be proud of their achievement and feel fulfilled in their birth experience.
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