As part of the Lamaze study program, I had to attend a seminar. Initially, I was unable to get in touch with the Massachusetts chapter of the program, so I registered for my seminar in New York. I believe that some higher power had a plan. I was supposed to be in Brooklyn this weekend.
The seminar would be at the instructors house. Mike and I stayed in New Jersey and our families watched the kids. Under normal circumstances, I would be incredibly nervous about what the weekend would bring. I'm a homebody who hates hotels and was unsure about spending my days in a strangers house. For some reason, I wasn't the least bit nervous. In fact, I spent the entire weekend totally comfortable, inside and out.
The seminar could have gone one of two ways. It could jive with all I had learned and the passion that I had felt in my studies or it could be a little too over the top and maybe not the right thing for me. Thankfully, it was right in line with the work I had done up to this point. I was slightly concerned that I would be too excited about what could be and too emotional about my own past for the rest of the group.
The group was led by Judith Lothian and Allison Walsh. Judy wrote this book and so many other wonderful articles. Allison has been a certified childbirth educator for 10 years and is a lactation consultant. She is also the past president of Lamaze International. I was VERY fortunate to be taking this seminar from two well connected, intelligent, knowledgeable and genuine women. My breif description doesn't do either of them justice.
My good fortune didn't end there. The seminar was made up of a group of 8 very diverse and passionate women. We all come from different occupations, cultures, family situations and childbirth backgrounds. Through our differences, we shared the same passion to make some serious changes in childbirth in America. I'm fairly certain that our instructors realized how driven we all are to achieve great things with Lamaze and recognized what an amazing group of women were sitting in that Brooklyn living room.
We spent three days working closely together, learning, sharing and planning. We stayed late every day and I don't think any of us minded too much. We know that we're setting out to do some important work. I've left out nitty-gritty details for a few reasons. With too much detail, you would be reading for days and much of what was discussed was emotional for all of us. I'm still trying to process much of the information. If you're really curious, ask my poor husband. I'm sure he got far more details than he ever wanted as I talked his ear off at dinner each night.
We left the seminar with promises to stay in touch. These are not your typical "we should stay in touch" promises. One member organized an online group for us. We've got a project we're collaborating on and will be meeting again in January. We're innovators who will use our passion to work together and do great things. Admittedly, I had a moment of being discouraged since I'm the only member of the group who does not live in New York. It might take a little more work for me to remain a part of this group, but it will be worth it. When I searched for Lamaze members or instructors in my area, they are few and far between. I'm happy to have a support system while still having some relatively untouched territory.
The content of this blog could never express how grateful I am to have connected with all of these fabulous women. The experience not only helped to drive my path forward with childbirth education, but provided some degree of closure on my own issues with my birth experiences. I have found an appropriate way to channel my energy and can't wait to get started. When I embarked on this journey, I was excited that I would probably only be working part time. Now, if the opportunity presented itself, I believe I would work with Lamaze on a full time basis. (Did I really just say that?) However early it may be, I think I may have found my calling and my place.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Passion
A few days ago I watched "The Business of Being Born." I heard about this documentary a little over a year ago on a c-section mom's forum. I had no intention of ever seeing it because so many fellow c-section moms seemed to have some issues with it. When it popped up on the list of recommended videos for my Lamaze training, I decided I would watch.
I can't say how I would have reacted before I had done some of my reading, but I must say, I have no idea why everyone on the forum was upset about it. There was one comment in the entire film that bothered me, but the rest of the information just made sense. The film was produced by Ricki Lake after she had some negative feelings about the birth of her first child. There is a lot of good information comparing the United States to other developed nations. While we are a proud group of people, I think it might be worth taking a look at some other countries with better birth outcomes.
There are many things I didn't know and have been surprised by. A doctor in the film who worked with the World Health Organization stated that of the 7 most developed nations (which I believe are Canada, Japan, Italy, France, United Kingdom, Germany and the United States), the US has the worst infant mortality rate. I had no idea. In many of these other countries, a majority of the births occur at home with a midwife.
If you take a look at the history of birth, it almost always happened at home. Around 1900, the wealthy started to birth with doctors in hospitals. Over time, this became the norm. Women went from birthing in a squatting position to birthing on their backs because it was easier for a doctor to see what was going on. It is important to note that hospital births were not any better than a home birth. In fact, they were probably worse. There was more risk of infection in a hospital, a place for sick people. Over the past 100 years, many things changed such as better sanitation and public health. The maternal and infant mortality rates improved. Around the 1930's, doctors began using "twilight sleep" to remove a birthing mother's memory of the birth. It was a medical issue, attended by a doctor. Women were alone for much of the labor and often restrained due to the effects of the medications administered.
Beginning around the 1950's, doctors began to want to control birth to a further degree. They began using induction, skewing the number of births occurring Monday through Friday, 9 to 5. With the use of pitocin, they could be home for dinner with their families. Time limits were imposed and many still exist as hospital policy. If your water breaks, most hospital will require you to be delivered in 24 hours, even if mother and baby are doing fine. The reasoning for this is increased risk of infection. If we didn't do so many vaginal exams, there would be less risk for infection. If left a little longer, most labors will begin and progress on their own.
Inductions double or triple your chances of a cesarean. When you are induced, you are tethered to a number of machines. Your babies heart rate will be monitored continuously, you will have an IV for the pitocin and probably a blood pressure cuff taking readings automatically every 15 minutes or so. This decreases your ability to move around during labor. Movement helps in pain relief as it helps the baby to ease down into the birth canal with gravity. Pitocin is a synthetic version of oxytocin, which is what your body makes in a natural labor. Oxytocin reaches your brain and triggers the release of endorphins which is your bodies own natural pain relief. Pitocin does not reach your brain, so those endorphins are not released, making it more likely you'll want an epidural to manage the pain. Being monitored continuously also makes it more likely that a "problem" with the babies heart rate will be detected and the baby will be labeled "in fetal distress." Studies have shown that continuous monitoring is not only not helpful during labor, it may lead to unnecessary interventions and vacuum assisted or cesarean birth.
So why is all of this being done? There are a slew of reasons. Obstetricians are trained to deal with high risk births. All women are treated with pretty much the same standard of care, when in fact, 80% of those women do not need the interventions used. Some of this is due to simply going with the flow, going with hospital policy, etc. Much of this is due to convenience, although the obstetrician may not necessarily realize that is what is motivating some of their decision making. As many people know, most of these policies are due to possible legal action in the event of a catastrophic event during birth. A c-section will always look like you intervened at an appropriate time and "saved the day." It's a safe choice for the obstetrician. Let me take the time to say that I don't blame individual doctors, but the system they practice in. Too much policy is driven by the possibility of a lawsuit. With malpractice insurance premiums costing some obstetricians six-figures a year, it's not surprising that they will avoid a lawsuit whenever possible.
While this seems like a lot of information, I assure you there is much more out there. Midwifery is evidence based. Obstetricians are not using all of the evidence to provide the best birth outcomes. The are very good doctors with very important skill, but they do not need to be handling all births as if they are high risk.
I am still at the very beginning of my study, but am surprised about how passionate I am about educating women about the evidence. I don't know how, but I would love to work to change the system and help make routine interventions not quite as routine. I have more information now then when I was pregnant. That raises another important question: how do we make women aware of all of the information available? I know personally, I would have made different choices my first time around. Choices I didn't know I had.
Again, birth is a very personal choice and there is no right or wrong way. This is information that is helpful in making informed decisions about your birth choices. I will spend some time focusing on cesarean births, specifically elective cesareans. I do not wish to judge any one's childbirth choices.
I can't say how I would have reacted before I had done some of my reading, but I must say, I have no idea why everyone on the forum was upset about it. There was one comment in the entire film that bothered me, but the rest of the information just made sense. The film was produced by Ricki Lake after she had some negative feelings about the birth of her first child. There is a lot of good information comparing the United States to other developed nations. While we are a proud group of people, I think it might be worth taking a look at some other countries with better birth outcomes.
There are many things I didn't know and have been surprised by. A doctor in the film who worked with the World Health Organization stated that of the 7 most developed nations (which I believe are Canada, Japan, Italy, France, United Kingdom, Germany and the United States), the US has the worst infant mortality rate. I had no idea. In many of these other countries, a majority of the births occur at home with a midwife.
If you take a look at the history of birth, it almost always happened at home. Around 1900, the wealthy started to birth with doctors in hospitals. Over time, this became the norm. Women went from birthing in a squatting position to birthing on their backs because it was easier for a doctor to see what was going on. It is important to note that hospital births were not any better than a home birth. In fact, they were probably worse. There was more risk of infection in a hospital, a place for sick people. Over the past 100 years, many things changed such as better sanitation and public health. The maternal and infant mortality rates improved. Around the 1930's, doctors began using "twilight sleep" to remove a birthing mother's memory of the birth. It was a medical issue, attended by a doctor. Women were alone for much of the labor and often restrained due to the effects of the medications administered.
Beginning around the 1950's, doctors began to want to control birth to a further degree. They began using induction, skewing the number of births occurring Monday through Friday, 9 to 5. With the use of pitocin, they could be home for dinner with their families. Time limits were imposed and many still exist as hospital policy. If your water breaks, most hospital will require you to be delivered in 24 hours, even if mother and baby are doing fine. The reasoning for this is increased risk of infection. If we didn't do so many vaginal exams, there would be less risk for infection. If left a little longer, most labors will begin and progress on their own.
Inductions double or triple your chances of a cesarean. When you are induced, you are tethered to a number of machines. Your babies heart rate will be monitored continuously, you will have an IV for the pitocin and probably a blood pressure cuff taking readings automatically every 15 minutes or so. This decreases your ability to move around during labor. Movement helps in pain relief as it helps the baby to ease down into the birth canal with gravity. Pitocin is a synthetic version of oxytocin, which is what your body makes in a natural labor. Oxytocin reaches your brain and triggers the release of endorphins which is your bodies own natural pain relief. Pitocin does not reach your brain, so those endorphins are not released, making it more likely you'll want an epidural to manage the pain. Being monitored continuously also makes it more likely that a "problem" with the babies heart rate will be detected and the baby will be labeled "in fetal distress." Studies have shown that continuous monitoring is not only not helpful during labor, it may lead to unnecessary interventions and vacuum assisted or cesarean birth.
So why is all of this being done? There are a slew of reasons. Obstetricians are trained to deal with high risk births. All women are treated with pretty much the same standard of care, when in fact, 80% of those women do not need the interventions used. Some of this is due to simply going with the flow, going with hospital policy, etc. Much of this is due to convenience, although the obstetrician may not necessarily realize that is what is motivating some of their decision making. As many people know, most of these policies are due to possible legal action in the event of a catastrophic event during birth. A c-section will always look like you intervened at an appropriate time and "saved the day." It's a safe choice for the obstetrician. Let me take the time to say that I don't blame individual doctors, but the system they practice in. Too much policy is driven by the possibility of a lawsuit. With malpractice insurance premiums costing some obstetricians six-figures a year, it's not surprising that they will avoid a lawsuit whenever possible.
While this seems like a lot of information, I assure you there is much more out there. Midwifery is evidence based. Obstetricians are not using all of the evidence to provide the best birth outcomes. The are very good doctors with very important skill, but they do not need to be handling all births as if they are high risk.
I am still at the very beginning of my study, but am surprised about how passionate I am about educating women about the evidence. I don't know how, but I would love to work to change the system and help make routine interventions not quite as routine. I have more information now then when I was pregnant. That raises another important question: how do we make women aware of all of the information available? I know personally, I would have made different choices my first time around. Choices I didn't know I had.
Again, birth is a very personal choice and there is no right or wrong way. This is information that is helpful in making informed decisions about your birth choices. I will spend some time focusing on cesarean births, specifically elective cesareans. I do not wish to judge any one's childbirth choices.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Why I'm persuing Lamaze and the emotions involved
When I began to research different agencies that certify childbirth educators, I immediately knew I would have some struggles with Lamaze. The Lamaze Philosophy of Birth is as follows:
Birth is normal, natural and healthy.
The experience of birth profoundly affects women and their families.
Women's inner wisdom guides them through birth.
Women's confidence and ability to give birth is either enhanced or diminished by the care provider and place of birth.
Women have the right to give birth free from routine medical interventions.
Birth can safely take place in homes, birth centers, and hospitals.
Childbirth education empowers women to make informed choices in health care, to assume responsibility for their health, and to trust their inner wisdom.
"Birth is normal." I had two cesareans, one emergency, one elective. My own experiences are not considered normal, healthy, or free from routine interventions. I had entered labor with an openness to medication, but no definite plans to use them. I had thought that the biggest intervention would be an epidural, if I chose to get one. I never in a million years thought I would have a cesarean. In later posts I will talk about some of the reasons I feel contributed to this being the outcome. I will say now that I do not blame any one or any thing for this outcome. I had 2 positive birth experiences, just not what I had imagined. Knowing what I know now however, leads me to believe that I may have been able to do some things to prevent this outcome.
Hindsight is 20/20. When I began this process, I knew I would have some issues with the idea of a normal birth. I maintain that I had two positive experiences, but will never experience the type of birth I had imagined. I feel a sense of loss. I personally believe that the birth of a child is the most important day of a woman's life. It is life changing and powerful. It is a memory that fades very little. There is plenty of research that supports these statement. I have learned that I will struggle for a long time with the sense of loss I have. I would love to experience a natural birth, but that's difficult to do when you don't want any more children.
I am working hard on taking this sense of loss I feel and turning it into a way to help other women have the birth they imagine. It doesn't matter if that is a natural birth, a birth with routine interventions, a cesarean. I believe it is important for a woman to know that she has done everything she can to achieve the birth experience she wants. This also comes with helping women to understand that there are occasionally complications where the outcome is different from ones imagined experience. I know it is difficult for others who have not had this experience to understand the emotions surrounding it. It's difficult for me to understand my own emotions.
During my study, I have found myself longing to experience a natural birth more and more. The problem is that I don't wish to expand my family at this time and my obstetrician has told me that I will not be able to have a natural birth. There are so many unknowns. What if I did have more children? I know I could find a provider who would support my decision to attempt a natural birth, but what are the risks given my surgical history? From what I'm reading, they're not any worse than a third cesarean. Is it worth taking this risk for the unknown when it could effect the family we already have? Why does my mind go to these thoughts when I don't want more children?
Again, I have to focus these thoughts towards supporting women to have the experiences they imagine. I feel as though women need to understand the facts about modern obstetrics before giving themselves to a doctor to make decisions for them. I don't ever wish to teach anyone that there is a right way to do things. Like I said, my experiences were great, but a there is a hole in my sense of womanhood or motherhood. I didn't birth my babies. Someone else did. I hope to be able to help women make clear goals for their own birth experiences and help them achieve them. It is going to take a little time to sift through my own emotions and be able to help other women to not have to experience the emotions themselves.
I am excited about what I have learned so far. I never thought I'd "buy in" to the information, but it just makes sense. Women's bodies were made to have babies. There are many things that happen naturally to make that happen and to help women cope with the pain associated with childbirth. Augmented labors lack a hormone release that aids in natural pain relief, leading to more epidurals. Modern interventions limit movement wich also helps with pain management. I believe that if a low-risk woman allows nature to take it's course as long as possible, she will be proud of their achievement and feel fulfilled in their birth experience.
Birth is normal, natural and healthy.
The experience of birth profoundly affects women and their families.
Women's inner wisdom guides them through birth.
Women's confidence and ability to give birth is either enhanced or diminished by the care provider and place of birth.
Women have the right to give birth free from routine medical interventions.
Birth can safely take place in homes, birth centers, and hospitals.
Childbirth education empowers women to make informed choices in health care, to assume responsibility for their health, and to trust their inner wisdom.
"Birth is normal." I had two cesareans, one emergency, one elective. My own experiences are not considered normal, healthy, or free from routine interventions. I had entered labor with an openness to medication, but no definite plans to use them. I had thought that the biggest intervention would be an epidural, if I chose to get one. I never in a million years thought I would have a cesarean. In later posts I will talk about some of the reasons I feel contributed to this being the outcome. I will say now that I do not blame any one or any thing for this outcome. I had 2 positive birth experiences, just not what I had imagined. Knowing what I know now however, leads me to believe that I may have been able to do some things to prevent this outcome.
Hindsight is 20/20. When I began this process, I knew I would have some issues with the idea of a normal birth. I maintain that I had two positive experiences, but will never experience the type of birth I had imagined. I feel a sense of loss. I personally believe that the birth of a child is the most important day of a woman's life. It is life changing and powerful. It is a memory that fades very little. There is plenty of research that supports these statement. I have learned that I will struggle for a long time with the sense of loss I have. I would love to experience a natural birth, but that's difficult to do when you don't want any more children.
I am working hard on taking this sense of loss I feel and turning it into a way to help other women have the birth they imagine. It doesn't matter if that is a natural birth, a birth with routine interventions, a cesarean. I believe it is important for a woman to know that she has done everything she can to achieve the birth experience she wants. This also comes with helping women to understand that there are occasionally complications where the outcome is different from ones imagined experience. I know it is difficult for others who have not had this experience to understand the emotions surrounding it. It's difficult for me to understand my own emotions.
During my study, I have found myself longing to experience a natural birth more and more. The problem is that I don't wish to expand my family at this time and my obstetrician has told me that I will not be able to have a natural birth. There are so many unknowns. What if I did have more children? I know I could find a provider who would support my decision to attempt a natural birth, but what are the risks given my surgical history? From what I'm reading, they're not any worse than a third cesarean. Is it worth taking this risk for the unknown when it could effect the family we already have? Why does my mind go to these thoughts when I don't want more children?
Again, I have to focus these thoughts towards supporting women to have the experiences they imagine. I feel as though women need to understand the facts about modern obstetrics before giving themselves to a doctor to make decisions for them. I don't ever wish to teach anyone that there is a right way to do things. Like I said, my experiences were great, but a there is a hole in my sense of womanhood or motherhood. I didn't birth my babies. Someone else did. I hope to be able to help women make clear goals for their own birth experiences and help them achieve them. It is going to take a little time to sift through my own emotions and be able to help other women to not have to experience the emotions themselves.
I am excited about what I have learned so far. I never thought I'd "buy in" to the information, but it just makes sense. Women's bodies were made to have babies. There are many things that happen naturally to make that happen and to help women cope with the pain associated with childbirth. Augmented labors lack a hormone release that aids in natural pain relief, leading to more epidurals. Modern interventions limit movement wich also helps with pain management. I believe that if a low-risk woman allows nature to take it's course as long as possible, she will be proud of their achievement and feel fulfilled in their birth experience.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Grace's Birth Story
I found out I was pregnant with Grace in either late February or early March. I was so excited. Mike was significantly more ready for this one! I took Mikey to my first appointment so that the doctor could confirm that I can in fact read a pregnancy test. Turns out, I can. Mikey sat in his stroller and ate blueberries. He was 16 months old. We bought an "I'm a Big Brother" shirt from the hospital gift shop. Mike told his parents, quite eloquently I might add, at Easter and I went home (Watertown) with Mikey in his new shirts. My parents were shocked and taken aback by how soon it was.
This pregnancy was similar to the last. Again, I had some bleeding, but this time it was earlier in the pregnancy. The baby was fine although I spotted through most of my first trimester. We found out we were having a girl and I was so excited. A brother for Mikey would have been nice, but I had always wanted a girl.
I had a decision to make this time around. I could schedule a c-section or try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I decided originally that I would try for a VBAC. As I got closer to my due date, I decided to schedule a section with the doctor that delivered Michael and hope to go into labor before hand. I was due November 15th and scheduled for the 13th.
We arrived at the hospital for a 9:30 section on the 13th. This experience was so different from Michael's birth. I knew what to expect. We went up to the PACU where we would get ready. I would don my oh so sexy gown and Mike his "doctor clothes." I walked into the OR at about 9:20. I was ready, but incredibly nervous. Not about the birth, but the spinal. I was afraid they would miss again. They gave me a stool to get onto the table and then took it away. It's a good thing they did because after they missed with the spinal the first time, I spent a good amount of time evaluating my ability to make it to the door before they caught me. I was big and slow and stuck on the table, so I breathed through the fear and talked with the nurses. It was horrible, but over fast.
The atmosphere was very light for major abdominal surgery. We were all chatting, sharing stories about kids and waiting for Baby Grace's arrival. At 9:57AM, I heard the most amazing sound I have ever heard. She was screaming. I didn't hear that with Michael. She too was a perfectly healthy baby weighing 7 pounds 11 ounces. Again, I got to hold her on the operating table. Mike and I spent some quality time in the recovery room with her. We were all much more alert and aware of what was going on.
While Michael's birth was a positive experience for us, Grace's was 100 times better. We enjoyed her, we knew when to take the help offered. Mike got to go home and sleep in his own bed. I enjoyed Mikey's daily visits. We arrived home on Sunday as a family of 4 (again with a little yellow baby).
This pregnancy was similar to the last. Again, I had some bleeding, but this time it was earlier in the pregnancy. The baby was fine although I spotted through most of my first trimester. We found out we were having a girl and I was so excited. A brother for Mikey would have been nice, but I had always wanted a girl.
I had a decision to make this time around. I could schedule a c-section or try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I decided originally that I would try for a VBAC. As I got closer to my due date, I decided to schedule a section with the doctor that delivered Michael and hope to go into labor before hand. I was due November 15th and scheduled for the 13th.
We arrived at the hospital for a 9:30 section on the 13th. This experience was so different from Michael's birth. I knew what to expect. We went up to the PACU where we would get ready. I would don my oh so sexy gown and Mike his "doctor clothes." I walked into the OR at about 9:20. I was ready, but incredibly nervous. Not about the birth, but the spinal. I was afraid they would miss again. They gave me a stool to get onto the table and then took it away. It's a good thing they did because after they missed with the spinal the first time, I spent a good amount of time evaluating my ability to make it to the door before they caught me. I was big and slow and stuck on the table, so I breathed through the fear and talked with the nurses. It was horrible, but over fast.
The atmosphere was very light for major abdominal surgery. We were all chatting, sharing stories about kids and waiting for Baby Grace's arrival. At 9:57AM, I heard the most amazing sound I have ever heard. She was screaming. I didn't hear that with Michael. She too was a perfectly healthy baby weighing 7 pounds 11 ounces. Again, I got to hold her on the operating table. Mike and I spent some quality time in the recovery room with her. We were all much more alert and aware of what was going on.
While Michael's birth was a positive experience for us, Grace's was 100 times better. We enjoyed her, we knew when to take the help offered. Mike got to go home and sleep in his own bed. I enjoyed Mikey's daily visits. We arrived home on Sunday as a family of 4 (again with a little yellow baby).
Michael's Birth Story
I found out I was pregnant on Valentine's Day in 2006. I was excited, Mike was stunned, but we had a full day of making Edible Arrangements ahead of us. Valentine's Day is traditionally one of the busiest days of the year. I told my mother-in-law very quietly and continued "fruiting." When Mike was finally able to process that we were in fact going to be parents, he began speaking again. We purchased a children's book for each of our sisters and parents and had them open them up to announce the pregnancy. Everyone was excited. Mikey would be the first child of the next generation.
Overall, I had a great pregnancy. I did have some bleeding around 10 weeks. This led to some tense days and an overabundance of emotions. Ok, so there was a day or two of downright craziness. We got passed it.
I was due on October 18th or 19th. To be honest, I thought it was the 19th until October 19th. I had a doctor's appointment and was informed I was now one day overdue. No big deal. A day is a day. I worked until the morning of October 30th. I went to the doctor's office for another appointment. At this point, I had been going more than once a week for non stress test, ultrasounds, etc. He decided I would be induced the following morning. Of course I couldn't wait. We enjoyed the rest of our night and what we thought was our last day as a family of 2. We left our car on the street, where it was then hit by someone who was kind enough to leave my Honda emblem in the road and ride off into the sunset. I didn't really care at the time, we were going to have a baby! 2 years later when the dent in the hood was still there, I started to mind.
The next morning marked the first time Mike would carry our "stuff" into the hospital. That was my job during childbirth classes. I took a picture, just so I could remember it. We checked in for our 9AM induction. The woman at the desk said "Oh a Halloween baby! He'll be here by lunch." We headed up to the floor, got our room, apparel and IVs. I was allowed to walk around on the telemetry monitor, but it kept running out of juice, so I spent more time than I would have liked in bed. When the induction started at 9:30, I was 4 cm dilated and fully effaced. I was not feeling any contractions. By noon, I was feeling them and having to stop to focus on getting through them, but they weren't bad. My water was broken and I was about 6cm. Around this time, the doctor came in to tell me that the baby's heart rate had gone down. We stopped the pitocin, put on an O2 mask and I laid on my left side. His heart rate came back up and we kept on. His heart rate would drop once more during labor. My parents and sister joined us in the afternoon. There wasn't much going on, but it was nice to have the company. Around 7, my family had left for dinner. Mike and I were alone and I was feeling the contractions by this time. There is a chunk of time that all I can remember doing is holding on and breathing. Poor Mike just sat and watched. I don't know how long it went on, but I was brought back to reality when the phone rang. We had a fairly steady flow of callers wondering if the baby had arrived. The doctor checked me again. I was still only 6-7cm. I was discouraged and could not see this labor coming to an end any time soon. When the nurse asked what my pain scale was, I told her whatever number I thought would be good enough to get an epidural.
It wasn't that the pain was too much, it was the math behind it all. I had dilated 2 cm in 10 hours. I had 3 cm to go at a rate of a cm every 5 hours, leaving me doing this for 15 more hours. There was no way. When they stopped the pitocin for the epidural, the contractions stopped. It took the doctor 5 or 6 tries to get it in. It was horrible and I wished I hadn't done it, but there was no turning back. I did get relief, but they kept it very low since they had so much trouble getting it in.
Around midnight, we sent my parents to our house to get some sleep. This baby wasn't coming any time soon. No more than an hour later, the nurse came in and noticed that the baby had passed meconium. This, in addition to the drops in heart rate and lack of progress resulted in a c-section. Dr. Fitzgerald could have told me he was going to reach down my throat to remove that baby and I wouldn't have cared at this point. The epidural had worn off what I would guess was entirely. They wheeled me into the OR and Mike suited up to join me. The anesthesiologist was surprised by how much I could feel before the surgery started and quickly took care of that for me.
At the time, I was scared to death. Mike was noticeably nervous, rubbing my head quickly. I could hear the heart rate monitor fluctuation and thought I was dying. I was shaking uncontrollably. He was born at 2:02 AM. No Halloween baby. Mikey was out in what seemed like no time. Although Mike said he wasn't crying and looked a little blue, I saw the NICU team leave without him and was relieved. He was a healthy 7 pound 9 oz little boy. After getting sick, I got to hold him in the operating room. I breastfed him in recovery and was able to see my parents and sister there too.
It took a day to stop getting sick. Other than that, I thought things went well. They were certainly not the way I had imagined them, but I was ok with that. I was surprised at the recovery from surgery. I was impressed with the staff and thrilled that there was an extra bed so that Mike could stay with me. We had a steady flow of visitors and we were exhausted, but everyone did well and went home on Sunday. We took our little yellow man home to begin the rest of our lives together.
Overall, I had a great pregnancy. I did have some bleeding around 10 weeks. This led to some tense days and an overabundance of emotions. Ok, so there was a day or two of downright craziness. We got passed it.
I was due on October 18th or 19th. To be honest, I thought it was the 19th until October 19th. I had a doctor's appointment and was informed I was now one day overdue. No big deal. A day is a day. I worked until the morning of October 30th. I went to the doctor's office for another appointment. At this point, I had been going more than once a week for non stress test, ultrasounds, etc. He decided I would be induced the following morning. Of course I couldn't wait. We enjoyed the rest of our night and what we thought was our last day as a family of 2. We left our car on the street, where it was then hit by someone who was kind enough to leave my Honda emblem in the road and ride off into the sunset. I didn't really care at the time, we were going to have a baby! 2 years later when the dent in the hood was still there, I started to mind.
The next morning marked the first time Mike would carry our "stuff" into the hospital. That was my job during childbirth classes. I took a picture, just so I could remember it. We checked in for our 9AM induction. The woman at the desk said "Oh a Halloween baby! He'll be here by lunch." We headed up to the floor, got our room, apparel and IVs. I was allowed to walk around on the telemetry monitor, but it kept running out of juice, so I spent more time than I would have liked in bed. When the induction started at 9:30, I was 4 cm dilated and fully effaced. I was not feeling any contractions. By noon, I was feeling them and having to stop to focus on getting through them, but they weren't bad. My water was broken and I was about 6cm. Around this time, the doctor came in to tell me that the baby's heart rate had gone down. We stopped the pitocin, put on an O2 mask and I laid on my left side. His heart rate came back up and we kept on. His heart rate would drop once more during labor. My parents and sister joined us in the afternoon. There wasn't much going on, but it was nice to have the company. Around 7, my family had left for dinner. Mike and I were alone and I was feeling the contractions by this time. There is a chunk of time that all I can remember doing is holding on and breathing. Poor Mike just sat and watched. I don't know how long it went on, but I was brought back to reality when the phone rang. We had a fairly steady flow of callers wondering if the baby had arrived. The doctor checked me again. I was still only 6-7cm. I was discouraged and could not see this labor coming to an end any time soon. When the nurse asked what my pain scale was, I told her whatever number I thought would be good enough to get an epidural.
It wasn't that the pain was too much, it was the math behind it all. I had dilated 2 cm in 10 hours. I had 3 cm to go at a rate of a cm every 5 hours, leaving me doing this for 15 more hours. There was no way. When they stopped the pitocin for the epidural, the contractions stopped. It took the doctor 5 or 6 tries to get it in. It was horrible and I wished I hadn't done it, but there was no turning back. I did get relief, but they kept it very low since they had so much trouble getting it in.
Around midnight, we sent my parents to our house to get some sleep. This baby wasn't coming any time soon. No more than an hour later, the nurse came in and noticed that the baby had passed meconium. This, in addition to the drops in heart rate and lack of progress resulted in a c-section. Dr. Fitzgerald could have told me he was going to reach down my throat to remove that baby and I wouldn't have cared at this point. The epidural had worn off what I would guess was entirely. They wheeled me into the OR and Mike suited up to join me. The anesthesiologist was surprised by how much I could feel before the surgery started and quickly took care of that for me.
At the time, I was scared to death. Mike was noticeably nervous, rubbing my head quickly. I could hear the heart rate monitor fluctuation and thought I was dying. I was shaking uncontrollably. He was born at 2:02 AM. No Halloween baby. Mikey was out in what seemed like no time. Although Mike said he wasn't crying and looked a little blue, I saw the NICU team leave without him and was relieved. He was a healthy 7 pound 9 oz little boy. After getting sick, I got to hold him in the operating room. I breastfed him in recovery and was able to see my parents and sister there too.
It took a day to stop getting sick. Other than that, I thought things went well. They were certainly not the way I had imagined them, but I was ok with that. I was surprised at the recovery from surgery. I was impressed with the staff and thrilled that there was an extra bed so that Mike could stay with me. We had a steady flow of visitors and we were exhausted, but everyone did well and went home on Sunday. We took our little yellow man home to begin the rest of our lives together.
Introduction
After Grace was born, I started to toss around the idea of being a childbirth educator. I tucked it away in the back of my mind and carried on. Then, in the summer, I had a conversation with a woman I went to college with. We compared birth stories and I was able to answer some of her questions based on my own experience. The idea came back. It felt great being able to share what little knowledge I had with her.
From that point, I began to research my options. I called the hospital where both kids were born and spoke with the woman in charge of parent education. She provided guidance and realistic expectations. She recommended that I pursue a certification from Lamaze International.
So, here I am, one month into my study. I will be attending a seminar in Brooklyn in a few weeks and then continue to prepare for the exam in April. I'm a little out of practice with the whole studying thing. I have perpetually tired eyes and a sore wrist from note taking, but I know it's all going to be worth it. I will say that I feel like a "better" student this time around. I know what study methods are effective and how I learn. I'm still struggling with finding the time to get the work done with two little kids.
All that being said, I am enjoying my trip towards becoming a childbirth educator. I know that it won't be easy. Aside from the amount of work ahead of me, I've found myself in a constant state of reliving my own birth experiences and wondering what I could have done differently. It's exciting to be doing something new and it's stirring up things I thought had finally settled. I'm going to go where ever this road takes me and enjoy the trip.
From that point, I began to research my options. I called the hospital where both kids were born and spoke with the woman in charge of parent education. She provided guidance and realistic expectations. She recommended that I pursue a certification from Lamaze International.
So, here I am, one month into my study. I will be attending a seminar in Brooklyn in a few weeks and then continue to prepare for the exam in April. I'm a little out of practice with the whole studying thing. I have perpetually tired eyes and a sore wrist from note taking, but I know it's all going to be worth it. I will say that I feel like a "better" student this time around. I know what study methods are effective and how I learn. I'm still struggling with finding the time to get the work done with two little kids.
All that being said, I am enjoying my trip towards becoming a childbirth educator. I know that it won't be easy. Aside from the amount of work ahead of me, I've found myself in a constant state of reliving my own birth experiences and wondering what I could have done differently. It's exciting to be doing something new and it's stirring up things I thought had finally settled. I'm going to go where ever this road takes me and enjoy the trip.
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